Abba Dorotheos of Gaza
THE FOURTH INSTRUCTION.
CONCERNING THE FEAR OF GOD
St. John says in his Catholic epistle (I John 4:18) Perfect love casteth out fear. What does the Holy Apostle wish to say to us through this? What kind of love is he talking about, and what kind of fear? The Prophet David says in the Psalms (Ps. 33:10) Fear ye the Lord all ye His saints, and we find many other similar expressions in the Divine Scriptures. Thus, if even saints, who so loved the Lord, feared Him, then how is it, as St. John says, that Perfect love casteth out fear? By this the Saint wishes to indicate to us that there are two kinds of fear: one initial and the other perfect—one fear is characteristic, so to speak, of those who are beginning to be pious, while the other fear is that of perfect saints, who have attained to the measure of perfect love. For example: he who fulfills the will of God because of fear of tortures, is, as was said, still a beginner; for he does not do good for the sake of good itself, but rather out of fear of punishment. Another one fulfills the will of God out of love for God, loving Him just in order to please Him; he knows what the essence of good consists in, he has understood what it means to be with God. He has true love, which the Saint calls perfect. And this love brings him to complete fear, for such a one fears God and fulfills the will of God not out of fear of punishment, not in order to escape tortures, but because having tasted the very sweetness of being with God, he fears falling away, he fears being deprived of it. This perfect fear, which is born from this love, banishes, casts out the original fear; and this is why the Apostle says: Perfect love casteth out fear.
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However it is impossible to attain perfect fear by any other means than of the original fear, the initial fear. St. Basil the Great says, "Who can please God? Either we please Him fearing tortures and then we are in the state of a slave; or we fulfill the commandments of God in hope of reward, for our own benefit, and therefore we are like hirelings; or we do good for the sake of good itself, and then we are in the state of a son. For, when a son reaches mature age and reason, fulfills the will of his father not because he fears punishment, and not in order to receive a reward from him, but because he cherishes a special love for him and reveres him as his father, he loves him and is convinced that all the possessions of his father belong to him also. Such a one is able to hear (Gal. 4:7), Thou art no longer a bondservant, but a son, and if a son, then an heir through God. Surely he no longer fears God, as we have said, by that initial fear, but he loves Him, as also St. Anthony said, "I no longer fear God, but I love Him." And the Lord, having said to Abraham, when he was taking his son to sacrifice him (Gen. 22:12), Now I know that thou fearest God, by this is signified that perfect fear that was born of love. For otherwise, why would God say, “Now I know,” when Abraham had already done so much out of obedience—he had left all his own people and settled in a foreign land with a people who served idols, where there was not even a trace of the worship of God; and besides all this God brought such a terrible temptation upon him— the sacrifice of his son. After this He said to him, Now I know that thou fearest God. It is evident that He speaks here concerning that perfect fear which is characteristic of the saints, who fulfill the will of God no longer out of fear of torture or to receive rewards, but loving God, as we have said many times, they fear doing anything against the will of God Whom they love. It is for this reason that the Apostle says, Love casteth out fear, for they act no longer out of fear, but they fear and therefore they love. It is in this that perfect fear consists. But it is not possible (as we have already said above) to attain perfect fear if one does not first acquire initial fear. For it is said (Prov. 1:7),The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom, and again it is said (Sirach 1:15, 18), The fear of God is the beginning and the end. The beginning fear is called the beginning, after which follows the perfect fear of the saints. Beginning fear is characteristic of our condition of soul. It preserves the soul from every evil, as polishing preserves metal, for it is said (Prov. 15:27), By the fear of the Lord everyone departs from evil. And thus, if anyone avoids evil out of fear of punishment, as a slave who fears his lord, he gradually comes to the point where he does good voluntarily, and little by little he begins, like the hireling, to hope for a certain reward for his good actions. For when he shall constantly flee evil, as we have said, out of fear as a slave, and do good in hope of reward as a hireling, then abiding by God's grace in the good, and uniting with God commensurately to this, he receives the taste of the good and begins to understand what true good consists in, and he no longer wishes to be separated from it. For who can separate such a person from the love of Christ? as the Apostle said (cf. Rom. 8:25). Then he attains the dignity of son, and he loves good for the sake of good itself, and he fears because he loves. This is the great and perfect fear. Likewise the Prophet, teaching us to distinguish one kind of fear from the other, said (Ps. 33:11, 12): Come, ye children hearken unto me, and I will teach you the fear of the Lord. What man is there that desirest life, who lovest to see good days.
Pay attention to each word of the Prophet, how each expression has its own force. At first he says, "Come to me," calling us to virtue, and then he adds, "children." The saints call children those whom their words turn away from sin into virtue, as the Apostle also says (Gal. 4:19), My little children, of whom I travail in birth again until Christ be formed in you. Then having called us and prepared us for this appeal, the Prophet says, I will teach you the fear of the Lord. Do you see the boldness of the saint? When we wish to say something good, we always say, "If you wish, let us converse a little on the fear of God or on some other virtue." The Holy Prophet, however, does not do that, but rather says with boldness, Come ye children, hearken unto me, and I will teach you the fear of the Lord. What man is there that desirest life, who lovest to see good days? Then, as if hearing from someone the reply, "I desire it, instruct me how to live and see good days," he instructs us, saying, keep thy tongue from evil, and thy lips from speaking guile. And thus before everything else he cuts off the activity of evil by the fear of God.
Restraining one's tongue from evil signifies not wounding the conscience of a neighbor in anything, not slandering, not irritating. And not speaking a lie with the lips signifies not deceiving one's neighbor. Then the Prophet adds, Turn away from evil (Ps. 33:14) At first he spoke of certain private sins: slander, deceit, and then he speaks of every kind of evil. Turn away from evil, that is, flee in general from every kind of evil, turn away from every deed which leads to sin. Again, having said this, he does not stop with this but adds, And do good. For it happens that one may not do evil, but he also does not do good; one may not offend, but he also does not show mercy; one may not hate, but he also does not love. And thus the Prophet said truly, Turn away from evil and do good. Behold how he shows us the gradualness of the three states of the soul we talked about earlier. Through the fear of God he instructs us to turn away from evil, and then he commands us to begin the good. For when anyone is vouchsafed to be delivered from evil and to turn away from it, he naturally starts doing good, being instructed by the saints.
Having spoken of this so well and systematically, he continues: Seek peace and pursue it. (Ps. 33:14) He did not say only "seek," but also strive after it in order to attain it. Follow this passage attentively with your mind and notice the preciseness the saint observes. When anyone is able to turn away from evil and then to strive, with God's help, to do the good, immediately battles from the enemy arise against him, and he labors in asceticism, works, becomes contrite, not only fearing to return again to evil as we have said concerning the slave, but also hoping, as was mentioned, in rewards for the good like the hireling. And in this way, enduring attacks from the enemy, fighting with him and opposing him, he does the good, but with great pain and great labor; and when he receives help from God, and acquires a certain habit for the good, then he sees rest, he tastes of peace, then he feels what the meaning of the sorrow of battle is and what the joy and happiness of peace is. Then he seeks peace, fervently strives for it, so as to acquire it, so as to obtain good completely and have it within himself.
What can be more blessed than the soul which has been vouchsafed to come into this degree of spiritual maturity? Such a one, as we have said a number of times, is in the condition of a son; for in truth, Blessed are the peacemakers, for they shall be called sons of God (Matt. 5:9). After this, who can arouse this soul to do good for the sake of anything else except the enjoyment of that good itself? Who can know this joy except for one who has experienced it? It is then that such a person, as we have already said a number of times, comes to know also perfect fear. Now we have heard what the perfect fear of the saints is, what is initial fear, which is characteristic of our orientation of soul, and how a man begins and what he attains through the fear of God. Now we desire to know also how the fear of God comes to dwell in us, and we wish to say what separates us from the fear of God.
The Fathers have said that a man acquires the fear of God if he has the remembrance of death and the remembrance of tortures; if every evening he tests himself on how he spent the day, and every morning on how he spent the night; if he will not be audacious in his contacts with others, and finally, if he will be in close contact with a man who fears God. For it is said that one brother asked a certain elder, "What shall I do, father, in order that I might fear God?" The elder replied to him, "Go and live with a man who fears God, and by the very fact that he fears God, he will teach you also to fear God." We banish the fear of God from ourselves when we act contrary to this: when we have neither the remembrance of death nor the remembrance of tortures, when we do not pay heed to ourselves and do not test ourselves as to how we spend our time, but live carelessly and have contact with people who do not have the fear of God; and when we do not keep ourselves from audacious behavior. This last is the worst thing of all—it is complete ruin. For nothing so banishes from the soul the fear of God as audacity. Wherefore, when Abba Agathon was asked concerning audacity he said, "It is like a great scorching wind, from which, when it blows, everyone flees, and which ruins all of the fruit on the trees." Do you see, O brother, the power of this passion? Do you see its fierceness? And when he was again asked whether audacity is really so harmful he replied, "There is no passion more harmful than audacity, for it is the mother of all passions." He said very well and reasonably that it is that mother of all passions, because it banishes from the soul the fear of God, for if by the fear of the Lord everyone departs from evil (Prov. 15:27), then of course, where there is no fear of God there is every passion. May God deliver our souls from the all-ruinous passion of audacity!
There are many forms of presumption: one may be presumptuous in word, in touch, and in glance. From presumption one may fall into idle talking, speaking in a worldly way; he does something humorous and inspires others to unbecoming laughter. Audacity is also when one touches another without need, when he raises his hand at someone laughing, pushes anyone, takes something out of another's hand, shamelessly looks at anyone; all this is what audacity does, all this comes from the fact that in the soul there is no fear of God, and from this a man little by little comes to complete carelessness. Therefore, when God gave the commandments of the Law, He said, Act reverently, O sons of Israel, for without reverence and shame a man does not revere God and does not preserve a single commandment. This is why there is nothing more harmful than audacity; therefore it is also the mother of all passions, for it banishes reverence, chases away the fear of God and gives birth to disdain. Because we are audacious with each other and are not ashamed before each other, it happens that we also speak evilly and offend each other. It happens that one of you sees something which is of no profit and he goes out and judges it and places it in the heart of another brother, and not only is he himself harmed, but he also harms his brother, pouring into his heart an evil poison. Moreover often it happens that the mind of that brother had been occupied with prayer or some other good deed, but you came and drew him away into vain talking. Not only is he thus deprived of something profitable, but he is also led into temptation; and there is nothing more terrible, nothing more ruinous, than to harm not only oneself, but also one's neighbor.
Therefore, it is good for us, O brethren, to have reverence, to fear harming oneself and others, to revere each other and beware even of looking each other in the face, for this also, as one of the elders has said, is a form of audacity. If one should happen to see that his brother is sinning, he should not disdain him and be silent about this, thus allowing him to perish; he should likewise not reproach or speak evil about him, but with feeling of compassion and fear of God he should tell the person who can correct him. Or, the very person who saw him sinning should say something to him with love and humility: "Forgive me my brother, if I am not mistaken, we are not doing this well." If he does not listen, tell it to another whom you know he trusts, or tell his elder or abba, depending upon the importance of the sin, so that they might correct him; and then be peaceful. But let us speak as we have said with the aim of correcting your brother and not for the sake of idle-talking or evil-speaking, and not in order to reproach him, not from a desire to accuse him, not for condemnation, and not pretending that you are correcting him while within you there is something you remember from the past. For truly, if someone will say it even to the Abba himself, but it is not in order to correct his neighbor or to avoid harming himself, then this is a sin, for it is evil-speaking. Let him test his heart whether it does not have some passionate movement; if it does, let him say nothing. If after examining himself attentively he sees that his desire to say something is out of compassion and for his brother’s benefit, but that he is disturbed within by some passionate thought, then let him tell the Abba with humility both concerning himself and his neighbor, speaking thus: "My conscious testifies to me that I wish to speak for the correction of the brother, but I feel that I have within me mixed thoughts. I do not know if this is from the fact that I once had an unpleasant encounter with this brother, or whether this is a temptation that hinders me from speaking to my brother so that he might be corrected." Then the Abba will tell him whether he should speak or not. It happens that one might speak not for the benefit of his brother, not out of fear that he himself might be harmed, and not because he remembers some past evil, but simply out of idleness. For what purpose is such evil-speaking? Often also the brother will learn that people are talking about him, will become upset, and from this will come sorrow and yet greater harm. But when someone talks, as we have said, solely for the benefit of the brother, then God will not allow a disturbance to occur, so that there will be no sorrow or harm.
So strive to restrain your tongue, so that you might not say anything bad to your neighbor, and not tempt anyone either by word, deed, a glance or in any other way, and do not be easily irritated, so that when someone among you hears from his brother an unpleasant word, he will not become immediately disturbed by anger, will not reply to him audaciously, and will not remain offended against him. This is unbefitting those who wish to be saved, and unbefitting those who are laboring in asceticism. Acquire the fear of God and meet each other with reverence, each bowing his head before his brother as we have said. Let everyone be humble before God and before his brother and cut off his own will. In truth, it is good if someone, in doing even some good deed, prefer his brother and yield to him; such a one will receive great benefit before the one to whom he yields. I do not know whether I have ever done anything good, but if God has covered me then I know He covered me because I never considered myself better than my brother, but I always placed my brother above myself.
When I was still in the monastery of Abba Seridos, it happened that the servant of Elder John, the disciple of Abba Barsanuphius, contracted a disease, and the Abba ordered me to serve the Elder. I kissed the very doors of his cell from the outside with the same feeling that another might have when bowing down before the honorable Cross, so glad was I to serve him. Indeed, who would not desire to be vouchsafed to serve such a saint? His every word was worthy of amazement. Every day when I had finished my service, I made a prostration before him so as to receive forgiveness from him and depart, and he would always say something to me. The Elder had the custom of repeating four expressions, and as I have said, every evening when it was time for me to depart, he would repeat one of these four expressions to me, among other things. He would begin thus: "Once I said," for the Elder had the custom of adding to every talk the words, "Once I said, brother," "may God preserve love. The fathers have said that through preserving the conscience with regard to one's neighbor, humility of wisdom is born." Again, another night he would say to me, "Once I said, brother—may God preserve love. The fathers have said, `flee from everything human, and you will be saved.'" And again he would say, "Once I said, brother—may God preserve love. The fathers have said, (Gal. 6:2) Bear ye one another's burdens and so fulfill the law of Christ.'" Every evening, when I would go out the Elder would always give me one of these four instructions, just as someone else might give instruction to one setting out on a journey; and thus they served to guard my whole life.
However, despite the fact that I had such love for the holy man and was so concerned with serving him, nonetheless, as soon as I found out that one of the brethren who also desired to serve the elder and was therefore sorrowful, I went to the Abba and asked him saying, "It is more fitting for this brother to serve a holy man than for me, if this is pleasing to you, O lord (Abba)." But neither the Abba nor the Elder himself would permit me this; however, I did everything in my strength to prefer my brother. And spending nine years there, I do not know whether I said a bad word to anyone, although I had an obedience—so that no one might say that I did not have it. Believe me, I recall very well how a certain brother who was walking behind me from the infirmary to the church itself was heaping reproach on me and I walked in front of him not saying a single word. And when the Abba found out about this—I do not know who told him about it—and wished to chastise the brother, I went and fell to his feet, saying, "For the Lord's sake, do not chastise him, it was I who sinned, that brother is not at all guilty." And another brother likewise, whether to tempt me or from simplicity, God knows why, for a period of time he would release his water over my head every night, so that my very mat was made wet by it. Likewise also certain other brothers dusted their mats before my cell, and I saw that a multitude of bed-bugs had collected in my cell, so that I did not have the strength to kill them, for because of the heat they were innumerable. And later when I would lie down to sleep, they would all collect on me and I would fall asleep only out of extreme exhaustion; and when I arose from sleep, I would find that my whole body had been bitten. However, I never said to any of them, "Do not do this," or "Why are you doing this?" And I do not recall that I ever pronounced a word that would disturb or offend a brother. You too, bear one another's burdens, learn to be reverent before each other; and if one of you hears an unpleasant word from anyone, or if he endures something beyond his expectations, he should not immediately become faint-hearted be disturbed by anger, lest during the time of ascetic labor and profit he should be found to have a heart that is weakened, careless, inconstant, unable to endure any kind of attack, as occurs with melons. If even a small point touches it, it is immediately harmed and rots. To the contrary, have a firm heart, have greatness of soul—let your love for each other conquer everything that happens. And if anyone of you has an obedience or some work with the gardener or the cellarer or the cook, or in general with anyone of those who work with you, then let each one struggle with himself—both he who gives the work and he who fulfills it—before all else to preserve his own state of mind, and let him never allow himself to depart from the commandments of God, into disturbance, stubbornness or attachments, or into any kind of self-will or self-justification. But no matter what kind of work each may have, be it great or small, he should not disdain it nor be careless about it, for disdain is harmful; neither should he prefer the fulfillment of the work to their own state of mind, striving to fulfill the job, but ultimately to the detriment of the soul. In every task you are given, even one that is extremely necessary and demands diligence, I do not wish that you should do anything with arguments or disturbances; but be sure that every work that you do, be it great or small, as we have said, is one eighth of what is sought. But to preserve one's state of soul, even at the expense of not doing the work at all, is three parts and a half.
Do you see the difference? Thus, if you are doing any kind of work and wish to fulfill it completely and entirely, then strive to fulfill the work itself, which as I have said, is the eighth part of what is sought, and at the same time preserve your own state of soul unharmed, which constitutes seven-eighths. But if fulfilling your work, your service takes being distracted, departing from the commandments and harming oneself or another by quarrelling with him, then it is better not to lose the seven-eighths in order to preserve the one-eighth. Therefore, if you discover that anyone is acting in this way—know that he is fulfilling his obedience senselessly; and, either from vainglory or the desire to please men [instead of God], he fights and burdens both himself and his neighbor, only so that later he might hear that no one can conquer him.
O, such amazing and great courage! This is not a victory, O brethren, this is a loss, this is ruin, if one quarrels and scandalizes his brother in order to fulfill his service. This means for the sake of one-eighth to lose seven-eighths. If one's service remains unfulfilled the loss is not great; but to quarrel or scandalize one's brother, not giving him what is needful, or to prefer one's service while departing from the commandments of God—this is a great harm: behold the meaning of the one-eighth and the seven-eighths. Therefore I say to you, if I should send any of you on any task, and you shall see that some disturbance or any other harm arises, leave the work and never do harm to yourself or to each other. Let the work be left and not fulfilled—only do not disturb each other, for you will lose the seven-eighths and endure great harm, and this is always senseless. I do not say this to you, however, so that you would immediately fall into faint-heartedness and leave off work or disdain it, or lightly forget and trample upon your conscience out of the desire to avoid sorrow. Again, I do not say this that you might be disobedient and say, "I cannot do this, this is harmful to me, this causes disturbance to me." For then you will never fulfill any kind of service and you will not be able to keep the commandments of God. But strive with all your strength, to lovingly fulfill every service with humility of wisdom, bowing down before each other, revering and asking each other, for there is nothing stronger than humility of wisdom. However, if at any time you see that you yourself or your neighbor is upset, then abandon the work that causes the scandal, yield to each other; do not insist on your own way until harm follows. For it is better, as I have said to you a thousand times, that the work not be fulfilled in the way you wish, but comes out just as it happens, and as need requires, than from your values or self-justification, however good they might appear. If you should disturb or offend each other, you will lose much for the sake of little.
Furthermore, it often happens that one loses both the one and the other and accomplishes nothing at all, for such is the trait of those who love to quarrel. From the very beginning we have done all our deeds in order to receive some benefit from them. But what benefit is there if we do not humble ourselves before each other, but to the contrary disturb and offend each other! Do you not know what is said in the Patericon: "From our neighbor come life and death?" Learn always from this, O brethren; follow the words of the holy elders, strive with love and fear of God to seek your own benefit and that of your brothers. In this way you may receive benefit from everything that happens to you and advance with the help of God. May our very God, as Lover of mankind, grant unto us His fear, for it is said (Eccl. 21:13), Fear God and keep His commandments, for this is demanded of every man. To our God Himself may there be glory and dominion forever. Amen.
Abba Dorotheos
THE THIRD INSTRUCTION. ON THE CONSCIENCE
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| Photo: Vladimir Khodakov. |
Now it is in our power either to again bury it or to allow it to shine in us and illuminate us, if we shall submit to it. For when our conscience tells us to do something and we disdain it, and when it again speaks, and we do not do what it says, but rather continue to trample upon it, then we bury it and it can no longer speak clearly to us from the weight that lies upon it. But like a lamp which hangs behind a curtain, it begins to show us things more darkly. And just as no one can recognize his own face in water that is obscured by many weeds, so after the transgression, we also do not understand what our conscience tells us—so that it seems to us that we have no conscience at all. However, there is no man who has no conscience, for it is, as we have already said, something divine and never perishes. It always reminds us of what is profitable, but we do not feel it because, as has already been said, we disdain it and trample upon it.
Wherefore the Prophet laments over Ephraim and says (Hosea 5:11) Ephraim altogether prevailed against his adversary, he trod judgment under foot. By adversary was meant the conscience. Wherefore also in the Gospel it is said (Matt. 25,26) Agree with thine adversary quickly, while thou art in the way with him; lest at any time the adversary deliver thee to the judge, and the judge deliver thee to the officer, and thou be cast into prison. Verily I say unto thee, thou shalt by no means come out thence, till thou has paid the uttermost farthing. But why is the conscience called the adversary? It is called adversary because it always opposes our evil will and reminds us what we must do but do not do; and again, what we should not do but do, and for this it judges us, which is why the Lord calls it the adversary and commands us saying, Agree with thine adversary quickly, while thou art in the way with him. The way, as St. Basil the Great says, is this world.
And thus, O brethren, let us strive to preserve our conscience while we are in this world, let us not allow it to refuse us in any matter. Let us not trample upon it in any way, even in the smallest thing. Know that from disdaining this small thing which is in essence nothing, we go on to disdain also a great thing. For if one begins to say, "What does it matter if I say this word? What does it matter if I eat this thing? What does it matter if I look at this or that thing?" From this "what does it matter about this or that?" one falls into a bad habit and begins to disdain what is great and important and to trample down one's conscience, and thus becoming hardened in evil, one is in danger of coming to complete lack of feeling. Wherefore guard yourselves, O brethren, from disdaining what is small, guard yourself from trampling upon it, looking down upon it as something small and unimportant. It is not small, for through it a bad habit is formed. Let us pay heed to ourselves and be concerned for what is light while it is still light, so that it will not become heavy: for both virtues and sins begin from the small and go on to become great good and evil. Therefore the Lord commands us to preserve our conscience and, as it were, He especially exhorts each of us, saying: "Look what you are doing, unfortunate one! Come to yourself, be reconciled with your adversary while you are in the way with him." Then He indicated the lamentable consequences of not preserving this commandment: lest at any time the adversary deliver thee to the judge, and the judge deliver thee to the officer, and thou be cast into prison. Verily I say unto thee, thou shalt by no means come out thence, till thou has paid the uttermost farthing. For the conscience accuses us, as I have already said, both in good and in evil, and it shows us what to do; and again it is it that will judge us in the coming Age, which is why it is said, Lest at any time the adversary deliver thee to the judge, and the rest.
The preservation of the conscience has many forms: for a man must preserve it in relation to God, to his neighbor, and to things. In relation to God, a man preserves his conscience if he does not disdain God through His commandments; and even in what people do not see, and in what no one demands of us, he preserves his conscience towards God in secret. For example, one may have grown lazy in prayer, or a passionate thought has entered his heart, and he did not oppose this and did not restrain himself, but accepted it; or when one has seen his neighbor doing or saying something and, as it often the case, he judged him. In short, everything that happens in secret, which no one knows except God and our conscience, we must preserve; and this is preservation of the conscience in relation to God. And the preservation of the conscience in relation to one's neighbor demands that we do nothing at all which, as far as we know, offends or tempts our neighbor by deed, word, appearance, or a glance. For one may offend one's brethren in appearance also, as I often repeat, and even by a glance. In short: a man should not do anything at all that he knows to have the intention of offending his neighbor. By this his conscience is defiled, recognizing that this was done in order to harm his brother or make him sad—this means preserving one's conscience in relation to one's neighbor. And the preservation of the conscience in relation to things consists in not having a careless attitude toward anything, not allowing the conscious to be spoiled, and not throwing it out. If we see something thrown out we should not disdain it, even if it be something insignificant, but should pick it up and put it in its place. Likewise, we should not behave carelessly with regard to our clothing. One might wear his garment for a week or two or even a month, and he often washes it prematurely and thus ruins it, and instead of wearing it for five months or longer. By frequent washing he causes it to become old and useless, and this is against the conscience. Likewise in relation to one's bed—one person may be satisfied with a single pillow, but another seeks a large bed; or he has a rough shirt but wishes to change it and obtain a different one, a new or a beautiful one out of vainglory or despondency. Someone may be satisfied with a single blanket, but he seeks another, better one, and he even quarrels if he does not receive it. If he furthermore begins to take note of his brother, saying, "Why does he have one and I do not?" then he is far from maturity. Likewise, if someone hangs his clothing or blanket in the sun and is slothful about taking it down in time and allows it thus to be ruined by the heat, this also is against the conscience. Or with regard to food, one person might be able to satisfy his needs with a small quantity of vegetables or lentils, or a few olives, but he does not want this, and rather seeks some other food that is tastier and better. All this is against the conscience. The Fathers say that a monk should never allow that his conscience reproach him for anything. Thus it is essential for us brethren to always heed ourselves and preserve ourselves from all this, so that we will not be subjected to that misfortune about which the Lord Himself warns us, which we have stated above. May the Lord grant us to hear and fulfill this, so that the words of our Fathers will not serve as judgment against us.
Abba Dorotheos
CONCERNING HUMILITY OF WISDOM
The Second Instruction
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| Photo: Emil Gataullin. |
Thus, if without faith it is impossible to please God, and if by means of almsgiving and faith sins are cleansed, if by the fear of the Lord everyone is brought away from evil, and if the beginning of wisdom is the fear of the Lord, and one who is laboring must be continent in everything, then why did the elder say before everything else that humility of wisdom is needful for us, setting aside everything else which is so needful? The elder wishes to show us by this that neither the very fear of God, nor almsgiving, nor faith, nor continence, nor any other virtue can be perfected without the humility of wisdom. This is why he says, "Before everything else, humility of wisdom is needful to us—so as to be ready to say to every word we hear forgive me; for by humility of wisdom are all the arrows of the adversary broken." And so you see, brethren, how great is the power of humility of wisdom; you see what force the word forgive has. But why is the devil called not only enemy, but also adversary? He is called enemy because he is the hater of mankind, the hater of good, and a slanderer; and he is called adversary because he strives to hinder every good deed. If one should wish to pray, he opposes and hinders him by means of evil remembrances, by means of captivity of the mind and despondency. If one wishes to give alms, he hinders by means of the love of money and stinginess. If one wishes to keep vigil, he hinders by means of laziness and carelessness, and in this way he opposes us in every deed when we wish to do something good. This is why he is called not only enemy, but also adversary. But by humility of wisdom, all the weapons of the enemy and adversary are broken. For in truth, great is humility of wisdom, and every one of the saints has travelled by this path; by labor they have made short their path, as the Psalmist says, Behold my lowliness and my toil, and forgive all my sins;(Ps. 24:18) and I was brought low, and He saved me (Ps. 114:6). And besides, it is humility alone that may conduct us into the Kingdom, as the elder Abba John has said—but only slowly.
Thus, let us also be humbled a little, and we shall be saved. If we who are infirm cannot labor, then let us try to be humbled; and I believe in the mercy of God that for the little we do with humility, even we shall be in the place of the saints who have labored much and worked for God. Even if we are infirm and cannot labor—can it be that we cannot become humble? Blessed, O brethren, is he who has humility. Great is humility! One saint who had true humility said it very well: "Humility does not become angry at anyone and angers no one, and it considers anger completely foreign to itself." Great is humility, for it alone opposes vainglory and preserves a man from it. And do not people become angry also over property and food? But how is it that the elder says that humility does not become angry at anyone and angers no one? Humility is great, as we have said, and it strongly attracts to the soul the grace of God. Having come, the grace of God protects the soul from the two onerous passions mentioned above. For what can be more onerous than to become angry and to anger one's neighbor? As someone has said: "It is not at all the nature of monks to become angry, nor likewise, to anger others." For in truth, if such a one, (i.e. one who becomes angry or angers others) is not soon covered with humility then he, little by little, comes into a demonic state, disturbing others and himself being disturbed. This is why the elder said that humility does not become angry and does not anger. But what am I saying? As if humility protected from only two passions… It protects the soul also from every passion and from every temptation.
When St. Anthony saw all the nets of the devil and, sighing, he asked God: "But who can escape them?" Then God replied to him: "Humility will escape them," and what is even more astonishing, He added: "They will not even touch you." Do you see the grace of this virtue? In truth there is nothing stronger than humility of wisdom—nothing vanquishes it. If something painful should happen to one who is humble, he immediately turns to himself, judges himself that he is worthy of this, and he does not begin to reproach anyone, or lay the blame on anyone else. In this way he bears whatever happens without disturbance, without sorrow, with complete calmness, and therefore he does not become angry, nor does he anger anyone. And thus, before everything else, humility of wisdom is needful for us.
There are two humilities, just as there are two prides. The first pride occurs when one reproaches his brother, when one judges and dishonors him as being of no importance, and deems himself superior. If that person does not soon come to himself and strive to correct himself, little by little comes to the second kind of pride, rising up against God Himself. He ascribes all his labors and virtues to himself and not to God, as if he performed them by himself, through his own reason and efforts, and not with the help of God. In truth my brethren, I know one person who once came to such a pitiable condition. At first when any of the brethren would say something to him, he would belittle each one and reply: "What is the meaning of that? There is no one worthy apart from Zosimas and those like him." Then he began to judge these persons also and say: "There is no one worthy except for Macarius." After a little time he began to say, "Who is Macarius? There is no one worthy except for Basil and Gregory." But soon he began to judge these also, saying: "Who is Basil, and who is Gregory? There is no one worthy except for Peter and Paul." I said to him: "In truth, brother, you will soon begin to belittle them also." And believe me, in a short time he began to say: "Who is Peter? And who is Paul? No one has any significance except for the Holy Trinity." Finally he raised himself up in pride against even God Himself, and in this way he went out of his mind. Therefore, O my brethren, we must labor with all our power against the first pride, so that we may not little by little fall into the second, that is, into complete pride.
There is a worldly pride and a monastic pride: worldly pride is when one becomes proud before his brother that he is richer or more handsome than he, or that he wears better garments than he or that he is more nobly born than he. When we see that we are becoming vainglorious over such qualities, or because our monastery is larger or richer than others, or because there are many brethren in it, then we must know that we are still in worldly pride. It likewise happens that one becomes vainglorious because of some kind of natural gifts: one, for example, is vainglorious because he has a good voice and sings well, or because he is modest, works zealously, and is efficient in service. These qualities are better than the first ones mentioned, however this is also worldly pride. Monastic pride, on the other hand, is when one becomes vainglorious because he is exercising himself in vigils, in fasting, that he is devout, that he lives well and is careful. It likewise happens that one might become humble for the sake of glory. All this has to do with monastic pride. It is possible for us not to become proud at all; but if one is unable to escape this entirely, then at least let him become proud over the qualities of monastic deeds, and not over something worldly.
We have talked about the first kind of pride is and what is the second. We have likewise talked about worldly pride and monastic pride. Let us examine now the two kinds of humility. The first kind of humility consists in respecting one's brother as more intelligent than oneself and more excellent in every way, and in a word, as the Holy Fathers have said, it consists in considering that one is lower than all." The second kind of humility consists in ascribing one's labors to God—this is the perfect humility of the saints. It is naturally born in the soul from the fulfillment of the commandments. It is just as with a tree—when there is much fruit on it, the fruits themselves bend the branches down; and the branches on which there is no fruit strive upwards and grow straight. There are certain trees which do not give fruit; but if someone were to take a stone and hang it to the branch and bend it down, then it would give fruit. The soul also, when it is humble, produces fruit, and the more fruit it produces, the humbler it becomes; and the nearer the saints came to God, the more they saw themselves as sinners.
I recall that once we were conversing about humility, and when one of the well-known citizens of Gaza heard us say that the closer one comes to God, the more one sees himself as a sinner, he was astonished and said: "How could this be?" Not understanding, he wished to know what these words meant. I said to him: "Noble citizen, tell me what you consider yourself to be in your city." He replied, "I consider myself to be great and the first one in the city." Then I said to him, "But if you were to go to Caeserea, then whom would you consider yourself to be there? He replied, "To be the last of the nobles who are there." "And if," I said, "you were to go to Constantinople, and come near to the Emperor, whom would you consider yourself to be there?" He replied, "Almost as a beggar." Then I said to him, "Even so, the nearer the saints came to God, the more they considered themselves to be sinners. So, when Abraham saw the Lord, he called himself earth and ashes. (Gen. 18:27); and Isaias said I am wretched and unclean (Isa. 6:5); and likewise Daniel, when he was in the pit with the lions and Habakkuk brought him bread saying: Receive the meal which God hath sent thee, replied: Thou has remembered me, O God (Dan. 14:36, 37). What humility his heart had! He was in the pit in the midst of the lions and was unharmed by them, and not once only, but twice, and after all this he was astonished and said, And thus God hath remembered me.
Do you see the humility of the saints and how their hearts were? They even refused out of humility what was sent from God to help them, fleeing glory. Just as one who is clothed in a silk garment would run away if someone were to throw an unclean garment at him, so as not to soil his own precious garment, so also the saints, being adorned with virtues, flee human glory so as not to be defiled by it. One who seeks glory is like a naked man who desires to find some shirt or anything else with which to cover his shame; so also one who is not clothed in virtue seeks human glory. Thus the saints, sent by God to help people, in their humility refused glory. Moses said (Exod. 4:10, 12), I beg Thee to place another one who is able, for I am a stutterer. Jeremiah said: I am the youngest one (Jer. 1:6). In a word, each of the saints acquired this humility, as we have said, through the fulfillment of the commandments. But what precisely this humility is and how it is born in the soul, no one can express in words, unless a man learn this by experience; for it is impossible to learn it from words alone.
Once Abba Zosimas spoke about humility, and a certain sophist who was present heard what he said and desired to understand it precisely. He asked him, "Tell me, why do you consider yourself sinful? Do you not know that you are holy? Do you not know that you have virtue? After all, you see how you fulfill the commandments—so how can you consider yourself sinful when you act in this way?" The elder did not know what answer to give him, but only said: "I do not know what to say to you, but I consider myself sinful." The sophist insisted, desiring to know how this could be. Then the elder, not knowing how to explain this to him, began to say to him in his holy simplicity, "Do not upset me; in truth I consider myself to be sinful."
Seeing that the elder was perplexed as to how to reply to the sophist, I said to him: "Does not the same thing happen in the arts of both sophistry and medicine? When someone has studied an art well and is practicing it, then according to the measure of his practice the physician or sophist acquires a certain habit, but he cannot say and does not know how to explain how he became experienced. In fact, the soul acquires the habit gradually and imperceptibly, through practice in the art. So it is also with humility—from the fulfillment of the commandments there comes a certain habit of humility, but it is impossible to express this in words." When Abba Zosimas heard this he rejoiced, immediately embraced me and said, "You have understood that matter, it is precisely as you have said." Having heard these words, the sophist was satisfied and agreed.
The elders also have told us something which helps us to understand humility. No one can explain the very condition into which the soul comes from humility. Thus, when Abba Agathon was near death and the brethren asked him, "Are you also afraid, Father?" he replied, "As much as I was able, I forced myself to keep the commandments, but I am a man, and how can I know if what I have done is pleasing to God? For one is the judgment of God, and another the judgment of man." Behold how he opened our eyes to understand humility and showed us the path whereby we acquire it. But how it is in the soul, as I have already said many times, no one can say or aphrehend through words alone—the soul can learn this but a little, and only from life. However, the Fathers have told us what brings us to humility, for in the Patericon it is written: "A certain brother asked an elder, "What is humility?" The elder replied, "Humility is a great and divine matter. Serving as a path to humility are bodily labors, performed reasonably. Also, it is when one considers himself below everyone else and constantly prays to God—this is the path to humility. But humility itself is divine and beyond understanding."
But why did the elder say that bodily labors bring a soul to humility? In what way do bodily labors become spiritual virtues? By considering himself below everyone, as we have already said, one opposes the demons and the first kind of pride—for how can one consider himself greater than his brother, or become proud towards another or reproach or belittle anyone, if he considers himself below everyone? Likewise, to pray without ceasing also clearly opposes the second kind of pride, for it is evident that one who is humble and reverent, knowing that it is impossible to perform any kind of virtue without the help and protection of God, does not cease always to pray to God that He might have mercy on him. For one who is ceaselessly praying to God, even if he should be able to do something, knows why he did this and cannot become proud. He does not ascribe this to his own power, but he ascribes all his success to God, always gives thanks to Him, and always calls upon Him, trembling lest he be deprived of such help and his infirmity and powerlessness be discovered. And thus with humility he prays, and by prayer he becomes humble, and the more he advances always in virtues, the more he always becomes humble. And to the degree he becomes humble he receives help and advances through humility of wisdom. But why does the elder say that bodily labors bring one to humility? What relation do bodily labors have to the disposition of the soul? I will explain this for you. After transgressing the commandments the soul was given over, as St. Gregory says, to the deception of the love of pleasure and self-will and came to love the bodily. It became, as it were, united or one with the body, and everything became flesh as, is written, (Gen. 6:4) My spirit shall not remain among these men, for they are flesh. The poor soul then sympathizes with the body and with everything which is done with the body. This is why the elder also said that bodily labor also brings the soul to humility. For there is one disposition of soul in a healthy man and another in a sick man; one disposition in one who is hungry and another in one who is full. Likewise, there is one disposition of soul in a man who is riding upon a horse, another in one who is sitting on a throne, and yet another in one who is sitting on the earth; there is one disposition in one who wears beautiful clothing and another in one who wears poor clothing. Thus, labor humbles the body; and when the body is humbled, the soul is also humbled with it. So, the elder said well that bodily labor leads to humility. Therefore, when Agapius was subjected to warfare from blasphemous thoughts, knowing as a wise man that the blasphemy proceeded from pride, and that when the body is humbled then the soul is also humbled with it, he spent forty days in the open air so that his body, as the writer of his life says, began to bring forth worms as happens with wild animals. He undertook such a labor not for the sake of the blasphemy, but for the sake of humility. Thus, the elder said truly that bodily labors also lead to humility. May the good God grant us humility, for it delivers a man from many evils and protects him from great temptations. May there be glory and dominion to God forever. Amen.
Abba Dorotheos
ABBA DOROTHEOS OF GAZA
ON RENUNCIATION
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| Photo: Mikhail Timofeyev. |
The good God then gave the law as a help—for their conversion, for putting right what was evil, but they did not reform. He sent the prophets, but they were unable to do anything. For evil prevailed as said Isaiah, no injury, no bruise, no wound was cauterized; no chance of soothing dressings; no oil, no bandaging of wounds (Isaiah 1:6), as much as to say that the evil was not in one member, or in one place, but in the whole body. It encompassed the whole soul and all its powers.
Everything was a slave to sin; everything was under the control of sin. As Jeremiah said, We would heal Babylon, but she would not be healed (Jer. 51:9). That is to say, we have revealed Your name, we have announced Your commandments, Your benefits and Your warnings. We have put Babylon on her guard against enemy uprisings. All the same she is not healed; she has not been converted, she has not feared, she has not turned from her wickedness. In another place he says, they have not submitted to discipline (Jer. 2:30), that is, to correction and instruction. And in the psalm it says, All food did their soul abhor, and they drew nigh even unto the gates of death (Ps. 106:18).
Then finally the most good and man-loving God sent His Only Begotten Son; for God alone could heal such a disease, and this was also not unknown to the prophets. Wherefore the Prophet David clearly says, Thou that sittest on the Cherubim; Stir up Thy might and come to save us (Ps. 79:1,2). And again: O Lord, bow down the heaven and come down (Ps. 143:5) and other similar sayings. The Holy Prophets in various ways have spoken much about this: some entreating that He might descend, others declaring that He unfailingly would descend.
And thus our Lord came, becoming man for our sake in order, as St. Gregory says, to heal the similar by means of the similar, the soul by means of the soul, the flesh by means of the flesh, for He became man in everything except sin. He accepted our very nature, the essence of our constitution, and became a new Adam in the image of God, Who created the first Adam. He renewed the natural condition and made the senses again sound, as they were in the beginning. Having become man He raised fallen man, and delivered him who was before in bondage to sin and violently possessed by it. For the enemy had dominion over man with violence and torture, so that even those who did not wish to sin involuntarily sinned, as the Apostle says on our behalf, The good that I will I do not, but the evil which I will not, that I do (Rom. 7:19).
Thus God, having become man for our sake, delivered us from the torture of the enemy. For God overthrew the whole power of the enemy, He crushed his very fortress and delivered us from his dominion; He delivered and freed us from submission and slavery to the enemy, if only we ourselves would not wish to sin of our own free will. Because He gave us power, as He said, to tread upon serpents and scorpions and upon all the power of the enemy (Luke 10:19), having cleansed us by Holy Baptism from every sin, for Holy Baptism takes away and uproots every sin. At the same time the All-good God, knowing our infirmity and foreseeing that we, even after Holy Baptism, would sin, as is said in the scripture: the imagination of man is intently bent upon evil things from his youth (Gen. 8:21), He gave us in His goodness, the holy commandments which cleanse us, in order that we, if we wish, might again be cleansed by the keeping of the commandments—not only of our sins but even of the passions themselves. For the essence of passion is one thing, and the essence of sin another. The passions are: anger, vain-glory, love of pleasure, hatred, evil fleshly desire, and the like. Sins on the other hand are the very actions of the passions, when someone brings them into fulfillment in deed; that is, he performs in body those deeds to which his passions arouse him. For one may have passions, yet not act according to them.
Thus He gave us the commandments, as I have said, cleansing us from our very passions, from our very evil impulses which are in our inner man: for He gives man power to distinguish good from evil; He inspires him, shows him the reasons why he falls into sins, for He said: "The law said, do not commit adultery, but I say, do not even have fleshly desire. The law said, do not kill, but I say, do not even be angry." (cf. Mat. 5:21, 22, 27, 28) For if you shall have fleshly desire—even though you may not commit adultery today, the desire will nevertheless continually disturb you within until it attracts you into the very act. If you become angry and irritated against your brother, then sometime you will fall into speaking evil against him, then you shall begin also to deceive him, and in this way, little by little, going forward you will finally come even to murder. Again the law says: eye for eye, tooth for tooth (Lev. 24:20). But Christ teaches not only to bear patiently a blow on the cheek, but also to turn the other cheek with humility. For then the aim of the law was to instruct us not to do whatever we ourselves did not want to suffer, and therefore it stopped us from doing evil by fear, so that we ourselves would not suffer the same thing. But now it is demanded, as I said, to banish hatred itself, love of pleasure itself, love of glory itself, and the other passions. In a word, now the aim of our Master Christ is to instruct us as to what we have fallen from in all our sins, why such evil days have overtaken us. And thus at first, as I have already said, He delivered us by Holy Baptism, giving us freedom to do good if we desire so, and not to be drawn violently away toward evil; for the passions weigh down and draw away the one who is the slave of sins, even as it has been said: Everyone is bound in the chains of his own sins (Prov. 5:22).
He instructs us how to be cleansed of the passions themselves by means of the holy commandments, so that through them we may not fall again into the same sins. Finally, He shows us also what causes a man to be given to carelessness and disobedience against the very commandments of God, and in this way gives us also the treatment against this cause, in order that we might become obedient and be saved. But what is this treatment and what is the cause of carelessness? Hear what our Lord Himself says: Learn of me, because I am meek and lowly in heart, and ye shall find rest unto your souls(Matt. 11:29). Behold how He has shown us here in brief, in one word, the root and cause of all evils and the treatment against them—the cause of everything good. He showed that haughtiness is what has brought us down, that it is impossible to receive mercy in any other way than through what is the opposite of this, that is, humility of wisdom. For haughtiness gives birth to carelessness, disobedience and ruin, just as humility of wisdom gives birth to obedience and the salvation of the soul. Here I understand true humility, not in words only or in outward form, but as a humble impulse which is rooted in the heart itself. And thus, whoever desires to find true humility and peace for his soul, let him learn humility of wisdom and he shall see that in it is every joy, all glory, and all repose, just as in pride there is everything to the contrary. For, why have we been subjected to all these sorrows? Is it not from our pride? Is it not from our senselessness? Is it not from the fact that we do not bridle our evil will? Is it not from the fact that we cling to our bitter self-will? Indeed, and from what else? Was not man, after his creation, in a state of every enjoyment, every joy, all repose, and all glory? Was he not in Paradise? He was commanded not to do this, but he did it! Do you see the pride? Do you see the stubbornness? Do you see the lack of submission?
After this, God, seeing such shamelessness said, "He is senseless, he is not able to take delight in the joy. If he does not experience some evil result, then he will go even further and perish completely. For if he does not learn what sorrow is, then he will not learn what repose is." Then God gave him what he deserved, and banished him from Paradise. And man was given over to his own self-love and his own will, so that they would crush his bones, so that he would learn to follow not himself, but the commandments of God, so that the very suffering of disobedience would teach him the repose of obedience, as is said by the Prophet: Thine apostasy shall correct thee (Jer. 2:19). However, God in His goodness, as I have often said, did not disdain His own creature. Again He exhorts, again He calls:Come to Me, all ye that labor and are heavy laden and I will give you rest (Matt. 11:28). He says as it were: "Behold how you have labored, behold how you have suffered, behold how you have experienced the evil consequences of your disobedience. Come now and be converted; come, realize your infirmity, in order to enter into your repose and glory. Come, enliven yourself by the humility of wisdom in place of the high-mindedness by which you have killed yourself. Learn of me, for I am meek and lowly of heart, and ye shall find rest unto your souls. (Matt. 11:29) O Marvel, my brethren, what pride does! O Wonder, how powerful is humility of wisdom! For what need was there of all these vicissitudes? If man had humbled himself in the beginning, and obeyed God and preserved the commandment, then he would not have fallen.
Again, after the fall, God gave man the possibility to repent and be forgiven, but his neck remained unbending. For God came, saying to him, Adam, where art thou? (Gen. 3:10). That is, to what shame have you come from your former glory? Then, He asks him: "Why have you sinned, why have you transgressed the commandment?" He prepared him intentionally so that he might say: "Forgive me." But there was no humility! Where was the word "forgive"? There was no repentance—only the exact opposite. For he argued and replied: The woman whom Thou gavest to be with me deceived me(Gen. 3:13), and he did not say, "My wife deceived me," but, "The woman whom Thou gavest to be with me," as if to say: "This misfortune which You have brought upon my head." For thus it always is, my brethren: When a man does not wish to reproach himself, he does not hesitate to accuse even God Himself. Then God came to the woman and said to her, "Why did you not keep the commandment?" He was as if hinting to her, "You, at least say ‘forgive me', so that your soul might become humbled and you might be forgiven." But again He did not hear the word "forgive." For she also replied, The serpent deceived me (Gen. 3:14). She was saying, as it were: "The serpent sinned, and what has that to do with me?" What are you doing, O wretched ones? Repent, acknowledge your sin, regret your nakedness. But neither of them wished to accuse themselves, and did not find the least humility in a single point. And so, you see now clearly what your attitude has led you to, behold what great misfortunes have resulted from the fact that we justify ourselves, that we keep to our own will and follow ourselves. All this is the offspring of pride, which is hostile to God. But the children of humility of wisdom are: self-reproach, not trusting one's own mind, hatred of one's own will; for through them a man can to come to himself and return to his natural state, through purifying himself by the holy commandments of Christ. Without humility it is impossible to submit to the commandments and attain anything good, as Abba Mark also said: "Without contrition of heart it is impossible to be delivered from evil and to acquire virtue."
Thus through contrition of heart a man becomes obedient to the commandments, is freed from evil, obtains virtues, and at the same time ascends into his repose. Knowing this, the Saints also strove in every way by a humble life to unite themselves with God. For there were certain God-beloved people who, after Holy Baptism, not only cut off the actions of the passions, but also desired to conquer even the passions themselves and become passionless. Such were Sts. Anthony and Pachomius and other God-bearing Fathers. They had the good intention of cleansing themselves, as the Apostle says, from all filthiness of the flesh and spirit (II Cor. 7:1), for they knew that by keeping the commandments, as we have already said, the soul is cleansed and, so to speak, the mind is cleansed and begins to see clearly, and returns to its natural state; for, the commandment of the Lord is far-shining, enlightening the eyes (Ps. 18:8). They understood that they could not easily perform virtues while remaining in the world, and so they devised for themselves a special form of life, a special order of spending their time, a special form of activity—in a word, the monastic life. They began to flee from the world and live in the deserts, laboring in fasting, in vigils; they slept on the bare earth and endured other suffering. They cut themselves off completely from their homeland and relatives, from possessions and other things; in a word, they crucified themselves to the world. And not only did they keep the commandments, but they also brought gifts to God; and I shall explain to you how they did this. The commandments of Christ are given to all Christians and every Christian is obliged to fulfill them. They are, we might say, tribute which is owing to the king. And what man who refuses to give tribute to the king shall escape punishment? But there are in the world great and noble people who not only give tribute to the king, but also bring gifts to him: such people are made worthy of great honor, great rewards, and worthy positions. Such were the Fathers; they not only kept the commandments, but they also brought gifts to God. These gifts are: virginity and non-acquisitiveness. These are not commandments but gifts; for nowhere is it said in Scripture, do not take a wife, do not have children. So also Christ, in saying, Sell what thou hast (Matt. 19:21), did not by this give a commandment; for when the lawyer came to him and said: Good Master, what good thing shall I do, that I may have eternal life? Christ replied, keep the commandments: Thou shalt do no murder, Thou shalt not commit adultery, Thou shalt not steal, Thou shalt not bear false witness, and the others. And when the lawyer said: All these have I kept from my youth up, the Lord added, If thou wilt be perfect, go and sell that thou hast, and give to the poor, and the rest (Matt. 19:16-21). He did not say, "Sell that thou hast," as a commandment, but rather as a counsel; for the words "if thou wilt” are not the words of one commanding, but of one counseling.
Thus, as we have said, along with other virtues the Fathers offered to God also gifts—virginity and non-acquisitiveness; and as we have mentioned before, they crucified the world to themselves. But later they labored to crucify also themselves to the world, as the Apostle says: the world is crucified unto me, and I unto the world (Gal. 6:14). What is the difference between these? How is the world crucified to a man and a man to the world? When a man renounces the world and becomes a monk, he leaves his parents, property, possessions, business, the act of giving to others and receiving from them. Then the world is crucified to him, for he has renounced it. This is the meaning of the words of the Apostle, the world is crucified unto me; then he adds, and I unto the world. But how is a man crucified to the world? When, having been freed from external things, he labors even against pleasures themselves, or against the very desire for things and against his own desires, and mortifies his passions, then he himself is crucified to the world, and he is able to say with the Apostle: the world is crucified unto me, and I unto the world.
Our Fathers, as we have said, crucifying the world to themselves, gave themselves to labors and crucified also themselves to the world. But we think that we have crucified the world to ourselves only because we have left it and have come to a monastery. But we do not wish to crucify ourselves to the world, for we still love its enjoyments, we still have attachments for foods, for clothing; if we have some good tool, we are attached to it and we allow some kind of meaningless tool to produce in us worldly attachment, as Abba Zosimas said. We think that having left the world and come to a monastery, we have left everything worldly; but here also, for the sake of meaningless things, we are filled with worldly attachments. This happens to us because of our great senselessness—in having left great and valuable things, we nonetheless fulfill our passions through various meaningless things; for each of us left whatever he had. He who had something great left this great thing, and he who had anything, left whatever he had, each according to his strength. And coming to the monastery, as I said, we give way to our attachment by means of unimportant things. However, we should not act in this way; but rather since we have renounced the world and its things, so also we must renounce the very attachment to things, knowing in what our renunciation consists, why we have come to a monastery, and what is the meaning of the garment in which we are clothed. We must conform ourselves to it and labor like our Fathers.
The clothing which we wear consists of a mantle which has no sleeves; a leather belt, the paramon and a hood—all these are symbols. And we must know the meaning of these symbols of our clothing. So, why do we wear a mantle which has no sleeves? While all other mantles have sleeves, why do we not have them? Sleeves are like arms, and arms are accepted as an indication of activity. Therefore, when the thought comes to us to do something with the arms of our old man—for example, to steal or strike or in general to do any kind of sin with our arms, we must turn our attention to our clothing and remember that we do not have sleeves, that is, we do not have arms that would enable us to do any kind of deed belonging to the old man.
Then, our mantle has a certain emblem of purple color. What is the significance of this purple emblem? Every soldier of the emperor has purple on his shoulder. For since the emperor wears purple clothing, likewise all his soldiers wear purple on their shoulders, that is, an imperial distinction, so that thereby they might be recognized as belonging to the emperor and serving him. Thus we also wear the purple emblem on our mantle, showing that we have become soldiers of Christ and that we are obliged to endure every suffering, as He suffered for us. For when our Master suffered, He was clothed in a purple garment, first of all as a king, for He is the King of those who reign and the Lord of those who lord, then being mocked by those impious people. Thus we also, having the purple emblem, give a vow, as I said, to endure all His sufferings. And just as a soldier must not leave his service in order to become a farmer or a merchant, for otherwise he is deprived of his rank, as the Apostle says, No man that warreth entangleth himself with the affairs of this life; that he may please him who hath chosen him to be a soldier (II Tim. 2:4), thus we also should labor, not being concerned for anything worldly, and serve God alone in order to be, as was said, the virgin who is diligently and silently occupied with her work (cf. II Cor. 11:2).
We also have a belt. Why do we wear it? The belt which we wear is a symbol first of all that we are ready for action; for everyone who desires to do something first girds himself and then begins the deed, as the Lord also said: Let your loins be girded about (Luke 12:35); and secondly, just as a (leather) belt is taken from a dead body, so we also must mortify our fleshly desire: for a belt is worn about our loins, the location of our kidneys, in which, it has been said, the desiring part of the soul is contained. This is what the Apostle said: Mortify therefore your members which are upon the earth; fornication, uncleanness, (Col. 3:5) and the rest.
We likewise have the paramon, which is placed on our shoulders in the form of a cross. This signifies that we wear upon our breast the sign of the cross, as the Lord says: Whosoever will come after Me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross, and follow Me (Mk. 8:34). And what is the cross? It is nothing other than perfect mortification which is performed in us by faith in Christ. For faith, as is written in the Patericon, removes every obstacle and makes easy for us that labor which leads us into such complete mortification, that is, when a man is dead to everything worldly. And if he has left parents, then let him labor also against attachment to them; likewise, if he has renounced property, possessions, and any other thing in general, then he should renounce also his very attachment to them, as we have already said; for it is in this that complete renunciation consists.
We also put on a hood, which is a symbol of humility. Small and innocent children wear hoods, but a man of mature years does not wear a hood. However, we wear them in order that we might be children in malice, as the Apostle said (I Cor. 14:20) Be not children in understanding, howbeit in malice be ye babes. But what does it mean to be a child in malice? If an innocent child is dishonored he does not become angry, and if he is honored he does not become vainglorious. If anyone takes what belongs to him, he does not grow sad, for he is a child in malice and does not seek revenge for an offense, nor does he seek glory. The hood is likewise an image of God's grace, because the hood covers and warms the head of a child just as the grace of God covers our mind, as is said in the Patericon, "The hood is a symbol of the grace of God our Savior, which covers our reigning part—the mind—and preserves our childlikeness in Christ from the demons who always strive to oppose us and overthrow us."
Behold, we have about our loins a belt, which signifies the mortification of irrational desire, and over our shoulders we have a paramon, that is the Cross. Behold also the hood, which is the symbol of lack of malice, and childlikeness in Christ. Thus, let us live in accordance with our clothing, in order that, as the Fathers have said, we will not be wearing a garb alien to us. But just as we have renounced the great, so let us renounce the small as well. We have left the world—let us leave also our attachment to it. For attachment, as I have said, even to unimportant and ordinary things which are worth no attention at all, again binds us to the world and unites us with it, and we do not understand this. Therefore, if we wish to be completely changed and delivered from the world, let us learn to cut off our desires, and this way, little by little, with the help of God, we shall prosper and attain to dispassion. For nothing brings such benefit to men as the cutting off of their will; and in truth, a man prospers from this more than from any other virtue. For just as a man who while walking on a journey finds a staff along the way and takes it up, and with the aid of this staff traverses a large part of his path, so is it with those who are travelling the path of cutting off their own will. For by cutting off his own will he obtains non-attachment, and from non-attachment he comes, with God's help, to complete dispassion. In a short time one may cut off ten of one's own desires. I shall tell you how this is.
Let us suppose that someone is walking a short distance; he sees something and the thought says to him, "Look over there." He replies to the thought, "Verily I will not look," and he cuts off his desire and tries not look. Or he meets some others who are talking idly among themselves and the thought says to him, "You say a word also," but he cuts off his desire and does not speak. Or the thought says to him, "Go and ask the cook what he is cooking," and he does not go and cuts off his desire. He sees something and the thought says to him, "Ask who brought this," but he cuts off his desire and does not ask. Cutting off his own will in this way, he comes into the habit of cutting it off, and beginning with the small he attains to the cutting off the great also, without labor and peacefully, and he finally comes to the state where he has no will of his own at all. No matter what happens he remains calm, as if his own desire were being fulfilled. Then, no matter how disinclined he is to fulfill his own will, it turns out that it is always fulfilled. For to one who does not have his own will, everything that happens to him is according to his will. In this way he becomes free of attachment, and from non-attachment, as I have said, he comes to dispassion. Do you see to what a state of advancement, little-by-little, the cutting of one's own will leads him?
What kind of person was the Blessed Dositheus previously? From what luxury and ease did he come? He had never even heard the Word of God; however, you have heard to what degree of spiritual maturity blessed obedience and the cutting off of his own will brought him in a short time. Thus God glorified him and did not allow such virtue of his to fall into oblivion, but He revealed it to one holy elder, who saw Dositheus in the midst of all the great saints, enjoying their blessedness.
I shall relate to you now a similar incident which occurred in my presence, so that you might know that blessed obedience and the cutting off of one's will delivers a man even from death.
Once, when I was still in the monastery of Abba Seridos, there came a certain disciple of a great elder of Ascalona with a certain assignment from his Abba. The elder commanded him to return before evening. In the meantime a great storm arose with rain and thunder, and the stream which flows nearby arose to the level of its banks. Remembering his elder’s words the brother wished to go back. We begged him to stay, supposing that it would be impossible for him to cross the stream without danger, but he did not agree to remain with us. Then we said: "Let us go together with him as far as the stream—when he sees it, he will come back himself."
So we went with him. When we came to the river, he took off his garments, tied them to his head, girded himself with his paramon and threw himself into the river—into those frightful rapids. We stood in horror, trembling for him lest he might drown; but he continued to swim and very quickly he was on the other side. He put on his garment, bowed to us from there bidding us farewell, and continued quickly on his way. We stood astonished, wondering at the power of virtue—for while we could hardly look at the river out of fear, he swam across it without harm for the sake of his obedience.
So we went with him. When we came to the river, he took off his garments, tied them to his head, girded himself with his paramon and threw himself into the river—into those frightful rapids. We stood in horror, trembling for him lest he might drown; but he continued to swim and very quickly he was on the other side. He put on his garment, bowed to us from there bidding us farewell, and continued quickly on his way. We stood astonished, wondering at the power of virtue—for while we could hardly look at the river out of fear, he swam across it without harm for the sake of his obedience.
Likewise there is the example of that brother whom his abba sent on errands to the village of a man who served them for the sake of God. When he saw that the daughter of this man was trying to attract him into a sin, he said only, "O God, by the prayers of my Father, save me," and immediately he found himself on the way back to the skete, to his father. Do you see the power of virtue, Christian monk? Do you see the activity of the word? What help is there in the calling upon the prayers of one's Father? He said only, "O God, by the prayers of my father, save me," and immediately he found himself on his way. Pay attention to the humility and the piety of both elder and disciple. The monastery was in a difficult situation, and the elder wished to send the brother to the man who served them—he did not say "go," but asked him, "Do you wish to go?" Likewise the brother did not say, "I shall go," but he replied to him, "As you desire, Father, thus I shall do," for he feared both falling into temptation and disobeying his father. Later, when their need was even greater, the elder said to him, "Arise, and go my son"—he did not say to him, "I hope in my God that He will preserve you," but rather, "I hope in the prayers of my father that God will preserve you." Likewise the brother, when he saw himself in temptation, did not say, "My God, save me," but rather, "O God, for the sake of the prayers of my father, save me." And each of them hoped in the prayers of his father.
Do you see how they joined obedience with humility? For just as in a chariot one horse cannot go ahead of the other or else the chariot will be broken, so also it is needful for obedience to be joined together with humility. Who can become worthy of this grace if, as I have said, he does not force himself to cut off his own will and does not give himself, for the sake of God, to his father, doubting in nothing, but doing whatever they (i.e., the fathers) tell him, with complete faith, as if hearing God Himself? Who could be more worthy of forgiveness? Who more worthy to be saved?
It is related that while visiting his monasteries St. Basil said to one of his abbots: "Do you have someone in your midst who is saving his soul?" The Abba replied to him, "By your holy prayers, O Master, we all desire to be saved." St. Basil said, "I say, do you have anyone in your midst who is saving his soul?" Then the abbot understood the force of the question, for he himself was a spiritual man, and he said, "Yes, I have one." St. Basil said to him, "Bring him here." The abbot called the brother he had in mind, and when he had come, the saint said to him, "Give me water with which to wash myself." He went and brought him water to wash himself. Having washed himself, St. Basil himself took the water in the basin and said to the brother, "Now you wash yourself," and the brother accepted the water from the saint without any doubt. Having tested him in this, the Saint said to him again; "When I go into the altar, you come and remind me and I will ordain you." He again obeyed him without any deliberation. When he saw St. Basil in the altar he went and reminded him, and the Saint ordained him and took him with himself. For whom was it fitting to be with this holy and God-bearing man, if not such a blessed brother? But you do not have experience in undoubting obedience, which is why you do not know the repose which comes from it.
Once I asked the elder, Abba Barsanuphius, "Master, the Scripture says that (Acts 14:22) we must through much tribulation enter into the kingdom of God, but I see that I do not have any sorrow; what must I do so as not to lose my soul?" I said this because I did not have any kind of sorrow. If any thoughts happened to occur to me, I took a tablet and wrote to the elder (when I was not yet serving him I wrote questions to him in written form), and before I was finished writing, I would already feel ease and benefit—so great was my lack of sorrow, and my calmness. Not knowing the power of this virtue, and hearing, "We must through much tribulation (sorrows) enter into the kingdom of God," I feared because I had no sorrows. I explained this to the elder and he replied to me, "Do not grieve, there is no need for you to be upset about anything; for everyone who gives himself over in obedience to the fathers has such sorrowlessness and repose."
To our God may there be glory forever. Amen.
Abba Dorotheus
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