ABOUT LONELINESS AND HOPE IN GOD

Metropolitan of Limassol Athanasios

Here's the question: what is better for the young man who was disappointed in the people - to move away from everyone and no one to meet, look inward for fear of trouble or is it a new set social networks, to relate to people and not be afraid of new disappointments?

And one more: a sense of emotional loneliness and separation from loved ones do not become a stimulus for closer communion with God? Such that the young man decides to enter the monastic path. Do you think it will be the right decision?

Answer the second question first. First of all we need to know is this: no one can do the right thing when it is in the power of the different emotions that control his inner world. That is: if a person is experiencing frustration in people and live in loneliness and isolation, it is not a good time to make important decisions - marriage or monasticism. He must wait for the restoration of peace and harmony in the soul, and only then to understand what he wants in his life. And then, by their own free will be able to do that in mind. Very distressed and very rejoicing people always wrong in their decisions. Therefore, in one studing said: Do not take decisions when you are offended or excited, because, as a rule, you will later regret.

I think all of us was that we decided to do something, being very happy and excited, but then it turned out that to live in the same state, in which there were before, we can not: the euphoria has passed. On the other hand, the monastic life is hard. The difficulty lies not in the fact that we get up before dawn, night after night bowing do not eat meat, and the post - this is not hard to follow. The complexity of the monastic life in the other. I think the most difficult thing - destroy the idol, who lives in us. When a person becomes a monk, he understands that the representation of himself that he has developed in the world, namely, that he was a good man, a virtuous living a spiritual life - all in the monastic life is crumbling, collapsing, a man laments broken beautiful picture of his own "I". Significant amount of spiritual strength to resist this destruction.Requires exceptional mental strength not to despair. Because only now see that you in fact are, - and this currently you can not even think. You see in all the evils of the world, all the passions, thoughts, all the strange and unusual, what and never thought that this could be you - but that's all there is in you, causing the soul fear and anxiety.

Then the man asks himself, "What's going on with me? Why "Because in order to refresh the whole person, he must descend into the depths of humility. It is impossible to learn in the world. It is not that someone's words: "You are sinful, weak, wretched!" It comes with experience. A man's life is often tragic. And at that tragic time there is only one in a person of the monk. What? Faith in God.Remember how Silouan experienced hell, it's almost on the verge of death, and the Lord told him to keep his mind in hell and do not despair. A lifeline for a person there is a hope in God, one can not hope for themselves. God forbid experience this state of hopelessness. Well, if there is hope - the tragedy, if you do not.

I often say that what we daily see around us and what we live - I am talking here about human mortality, a sense that sometimes drives him to self-destruction - the same feel and the saints, but with one difference. They experience their mortality with the only hope - for God. Today one feels limited life, no matter what no hope, so his only hope is death. He can not endure life - and therefore comes to suicide, or find other ways to kill yourself, for example, drugs, drugs, anything else, just to get out of this emptiness. He can not survive the reality of the surrounding reality and himself. He starts looking for a replacement: the drinking, marijuana, tobacco ... - here seeking solace.

Tragic limited life experience and monks, are experiencing even more intense and real. It's hard. I think that living in the world, there are times when he goes to the extreme limit of their endurance. This happens at least once in everyone's life. But you know what I say? It's great, great!

Shopping for running and pulling in Meteora

Why? Because then it becomes easy. It is as if you passed on the roller, and after a small car - and you can not feel it and it does not make any impression on you, because you have just been crushed by a heavy roller. When a man, absorbed in the essence of his being, a sense of desperation, he can get up, but have hope only in God. If there is no hope in God, that's a problem, because you have to rely on something else, and it will happen as with the rope on Meteora . Have you ever been on a meteorite? Previously, there was no road, and the monks came down on the rope. They sat in the basket - you've probably read about it: it is written in the old books. There's a huge rock. One anecdote tells how a pilgrim sits in a basket, to descend. And asks the monk who has it later:

- Father, how often do you change the rope?

And he answered him:

- When the break, and then me!

Imagine: here you descend in a basket. Under thee abyss. And then wait for the other, under which the rope breaks, and then replace it. If we grasp at the rope - rope for human, we make the same mistake.

Now let's turn to the first question.

Decides not to the people and not withdraw into themselves. But do not go away from loneliness, those who return home only to beating all the bars, where they drank to frenzy, and then their sick here and there, because I drank ten bottles of wine. This is not the solution. Solving the problem of loneliness in another.Neither here nor there. Both - human ways that lead to disease states. Solving the problem of loneliness in that man learned to communicate properly: how to communicate with others, and - most importantly - how to communicate with God, who is Father to us. He will never be disappointed with God and He will not be betrayed. So if there is a right relationship with God, then a sense of God's presence overwhelms man by giving him all the things he lacks. And even if someone makes a person hurt and disappoint him - yes, he could feel the pain, but never reaches the limit of despair, because was not expecting too much.

The tragedy is that today we give all your heart, all your being secular, something limited, relatively. And then the hour and we are disappointed - not because they are bad people. No, they are not bad, they are very good, but we're talking here about those who do not fully meet our expectations. They do not have this capability, do not have the strength or can not feel what we feel. Do you know how scared to love someone and want to and he loved you, and he can not do?This is a tragedy.

- I love you so, so in love - and you do not love me!

Well, like, but not so hot. One can not force them to love themselves. There is no such button that can be pressed and fall in love. You can love him, want to get married, all your dreams about it, your whole being strives to see his love everywhere, in books - so what book or open, to see there - even in food, in pan.But the object of your love feels different. Or it is associated with another person, or does not feel for you the same feeling. How can you do that? To commit suicide? What happens to us when the one we love, can not reciprocate?

Or other situation. And I am telling you about what happens to us every day. You have family, relationships just fine, but at some point one of the spouses in the temptation betrays another. What do you do? Despair? Become extremely selfish - to experience all those unhealthy feelings, ugly, painful, destructive? And if your last hour comes, if your significant other dies, or your child, or something else tragic happens - what happens to us every day? If you give it with all your being, and you know it will come down disappointed. That gnaws us fear, uncertainty. We feel the uncertainty of life, and this leads to stress, to anxiety.Why? Because we have built our lives, because we think this is important. And health. "It would be great!" - Speak. But is it important to health? Does it always will be with us? Of course, some day we will lose health. But what to expect? In the 80 years to be completely healthy? At certain times of your health deteriorates. Come and when you be disappointed in their children, in his wife, in their work, in itself, in its strength - in all this. And it's frustrating - your doom, because you all the power of his soul gave it.

But first and foremost God's commandment - to love God with all your being, with all your heart, soul, mind, will - everything. If we love God with all our being, and we trust in Him, and the rest comes as a consequence. God is a solid foundation that will never be shaken, and all that is attacking God - is broken.Even death itself can not win trust in God. So, having a strong faith, a person succeeds in life and overcome all the troubles they encountered. Of course, not remaining completely indifferent to him, but his feelings will be defined border.He can say that, as they say old people, our grandmothers, "How pleased God, that God's will, God's will is." This is a simple but very important words. From them, that faith comes peace and quiet, is anxiety, covering us - because faith gives God to work in our lives. And if we want to do everything to arrange and organize, then, of course, at any time waiting for that something went wrong and everything will collapse.

Therefore, when we cover the youthful feeling and we would be alone, locked himself in his room, not to go out, and we knock on the door and leave food at the door or go to communicate with us through the note: the mother leaves a note: "Had lunch" - no entries were obtained.

Yes, this is bad, unhealthy - do not do it! Understand that the problem lies elsewhere. Here you are removed from all or ran away from home (the two extremes) - so what? Choose the middle path, and understand: the problem is not that someone has disappointed you and that you have no significant relationship with God. This is the essence of the problem, it is the decision of it, that the Church has always offered. So the church is modern, it is now a fashion trend - and we all need to feel that we are the last word in fashion. Because the word church is current and responsive to the most pressing issues of modern life, especially a young person. And those who, as they say, "ancestors", so they do not have these issues - they save money in the bank and wait for retirement.Security. Take care of your health, often go to the survey, the doctors, making sure not to raise blood cholesterol, sugar and so on. Yes, to protect themselves, they do thousands of things and do not feel the absence of God. This is wrong.

Today, young people eagerly responds to all events, and this is good because it is a dynamic young man's life will lead to a living knowledge of God. That's why many of today enchurched and sociologists all ask, "What happened?" What happened? Let them know that. Why is that? Because there is one factor that is not subject to interpretation. This factor - God, and the other factor - the human soul, and they are connected directly and paradoxically. Soul of the young man instinctively feels (and, of course, does not matter, he's a little confused) - she feels there is something missing her so, and when she finds God, everything automatically becomes secondary. In other words, when we find God in your life, then come the changes that can not be explained in words. But adults ask

- What happened to my son? Before it did not find him at home, always returned in the morning, nervous about little things ... He was a little girl - like ten. Why is not it? What happened to him? He needs a psychiatrist, he should go to the doctor!

Meteora. Monastery on the rock

And the phenomena about which, following the logic of the secular need to see a doctor - is the process of change and transformation of man. Change it needs, perceptions, feelings, changing his whole being, his relationship with the world and yourself, with your family, with your body, with the bodies of others. All of these changes can not explain feelings. If you take the action of God's grace, do not accept it, do not acknowledge it, then, really, you need to go somewhere for a consultation, because there's no other explanation.

I repeat once more to complete.

There are two extremes. Man withdraws into himself and did not talk - this way he defends. But over time, it will lead him to a very painful condition. This is wrong. The second extreme, to forget, to plunge into all the winds, walking until you drop, drink, fun - to unwind. Do you know what the word "unwind"? Explode into thousands of pieces and throw them to the wind. Then go collect these parts!And then you ripped yourself to thousands of parts, lost himself, lost touch with yourself and you can not re-assemble themselves. Requires the middle way, the harmony, not one or the other extreme. We must learn to understand yourself, that makes you, and put these ingredients in the right order. We need to understand the absolute necessity of connection with God. Second, to understand where to start and where to end relationships with other people, what to expect from other people, from himself, from the nature of things, the environment, and when something happens, do not give up, and see it as a natural phenomenon of life . Our daily routine includes it - this is it, our life.

As for smashing idols own "I" - then do it as a monk, do it while living in the world, and in the world there are also very rigid ways to do this. Sometimes even tighter than a monk, because in the world most bizarre things happen - someone napoddast you, and no one before and do not care. However, in the world there are human treats that were given to people as a simple solution to the problems, that is all you can just decide, in the monastery of human pleasure is not, and the person experiences all alone, all alone, without interference. There is nothing, absolutely nothing. The only hope - for God, but God does not exist - that is, he is, but He is not God is so long until you say, 'It's over, dying! "Why? Because then people, as it activates the forces, that is, finds the strength they possessed.But it is a very painful process. Christ as a man, took the cross, has reached the limit of power and therefore cried out, "My God, My God, why have you forsaken me?" Everyone put a limit, but see that Christ addressed to the Father in prayer as the Lord, and in this the essence of our struggle. When we're all alone and no one is there is not a human, not God's help, it is very difficult to turn to God, a very, very difficult. In the world there are human joy, so that everything is different. Although maybe I'm wrong here. But in any case, the experience of many monks and saints shows that the monastic person is really on the limit - the limit of their endurance. Therefore impossible for a man who has no mental strength to withstand a monk - no way stand.Monasticism as a furnace, where the temperature - a thousand degrees. It burns and melts the metal, not the people. That's it. And apparently it's not noticeable.

Once I came to the monastery on Mount Athos. I will not say which. Outwardly, he made a very good impression: the monks smiling, polite, young, educated, and among them were professors and doctors, so you say to yourself: this monastery reigns joy that Mount Athos is not so common. I visited the old man, who had been ill and was in bed - I was familiar with it. I asked him:
- How are yours, sir? How are you?

- Good! - Is responsible.

We talked a little bit, and he asked:
- Do you like our monastery?
- The beautiful abode! All the monks are good, smiling!
And he told me:- You know what I say? It looks from the outside all the way, but if you look deeper, it is a terrible battle, and the furnace, which melts those who live here.

And really, this is such a beautiful monastery was one of the most ascetic on Mount Athos, that is asceticism that was practiced in the monastery, not to keep others from the Monastery. And then it was all over, and in the food, and ... oh, I will not talk about it, you are not terrified. There were very strict rules. And apparently it was not shown. Why? It is because the spiritual things are not like the world, and when you, for example, experienced a spiritual struggle, it is not the fact that when you have a stomach ache, or when, as in the world, there will be some kind of grief: you do not start thrills heart beat, nothing happens. All is calm, you control your physical condition - all these physiological manifestations - in the depths of his heart, the essence, but the agony is - cruel agony. I do not know if I could explain it to you.
Not all people are the same, so everyone experiences it differently - depending on their nature and sensitivity, and some have it from the first day, while others - later.By God's providence it is so. And not all are going through the same struggles.There are people who only survive many wars, and, moreover, significant, just something unbelievable, unthinkable, and if I will describe, I do not believe it.

Three youths in the furnace of Babylon. Mosaic Monastery Osios Lukas 

Silouan says: "If I knew what the night will hold in the monastery, it would not spend here one! However, I've been here a thousand nights. " Precisely because he lived through it with God's grace. If you take away the grace, everything would be unbearable. But, my children, no matter how scary it may seem, it is important to know about it. And remember, the Old Testament tells of three young men, which the Babylonian king cast into the oven, where the fire blazed, rose by 40 cubits?Imagine: 40 cubits! How many meters is? Almost 25 meters. 25 meters of the flame - no one could come close to the stove. A young man was thrown into the fiery hell. When they were thrown into the oven, a miracle happened: the furnace blew damp wind that drove the flames. Everyone thought that the boy would die.And they sang of flame and praising God. So it is with the person who is experiencing spiritual events. Sides this is terrible, but these struggles can not be seen, and when confronted with them inside, going through something strange, so did not seem to feel it all. Ask, how can you not feel, when you feel? It's ironic, but it is always in the Church. Coexist life and death, joy and sorrow, poverty and wealth, austerity and joy, the tragedy of God with joy. So, even though the person has undergone a terrible test, he did not run from him, but stayed because he had found the presence of God, which irrigates the flames.But at the heart of it all - faith. If a person does not have faith, it will not work. So disappointed in the people will never be able to become a monk. Monks are very optimistic people, those who are not only disappointed, but - I will say this: absolutely confident that they can achieve anything in life, but deliberately have rejected it. So monasticism out of the hopelessness of the situation, as some say, "I want to commit suicide or go to the nuns!" This is not the solution, and the error...